But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I puked a lego.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
