I got chris browned last night
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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