It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
