I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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