the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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