But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
