Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
