Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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