It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
