I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
