i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
