I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Vodka?
Forever.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
