The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize