I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
