Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
