Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches

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(325): View more from Texas

just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?

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(740): View more from Ohio

This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.

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(563): View more from Iowa

Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...

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(812): View more from Indiana

So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.

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