I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
