Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
