I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize