just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
