i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
