So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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