I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize