Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
