He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ ๐๐ผ
Maybe itโs too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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