this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
