Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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