I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
