Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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