But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
