Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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