i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
