I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
