3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
