i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
