Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
