You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
