R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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