I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
no, he came in my armpit
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
