seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
