You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
