Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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