Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
