I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
