I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
