i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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