Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
