:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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