i jhust puked up my retainher.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You are the jesus of drinking
Randomize
