he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
