I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
one might say we're banned from that church
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
