I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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