talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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