threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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