In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
