Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
