She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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