Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
