so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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