suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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